Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Bullet Stamps

Under the despotic tyranny of the socialist dictatorship laughably referred to as the 'Democrat administration', trillions of dollars which could be spent developing new super-weapons for the self-defense of this great country are being pissed away on frivolous programs such as ‘social security’ and worthless work-creation schemes. Here's just some of the great projects that are being junked or fed feet-first into the wood-chipper by those traitors on Capitol Hill :

1) A one-sixteenth scale Death Star that can hover over a city for 6 full minutes, scaring the inhabitants shitless and which can also drop a 1985 Electra Park Avenue Buick onto terrorists from a height of 200 metres ;

2) A gun that can accurately fire a tiny boot into an enemy combatant's nutsack from 20 metres away ;

3) Special polystyrene inserts that make every soldier look as if he's sporting a 10 " dick and a permanent hard-on for killing  ;

4) A tiny robotic ant that can sneak into the most impenetrable terrorist hideout and deposit a 2 milligram payload of itching powder onto an enemy combatant's beard ;

5) Voice distorters that make every soldier sound as if he's a Dalek from the British TV series Doctor Who.

Death Stars, pocket nukes, cyborg soldiers that shit all sounds like science fiction, but the fact is, is that these wonderful innovations are just decades away from completion. Instead, we're told that priority must go to wasteful garbage like the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program.

Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program +  $$$ = FAILURE

As of late November 2009, one in eight Americans (37m)  and one in four children are using food stamps and the program rate is growing at a rate of 20,000 people a day. That works out at 7.3 million a year which means that by 2046 the number of people receiving food stamps will actually reach 307 million people - more than the actual number of people in the United States !!!

Insanity !!!

Who's going to pay for all these food stamps if every single person in the U.S., including the President and a few million more, are all on emergency food aid ?

Unsustainable !!!

Clayton's own, personal view is that people don't need food stamps any more. We have roughly 238 - 276 million guns in the U.S. and if you subtract the number of children (75 million) from the general population (300 million - 75 million = 225 million adults) then you have at least one gun for every adult, which means that every person should be able to go out and shoot their own dinner. Instead of food stamps, families will get bullet stamps.


If there's no good hunting in your area, then the government may consider parachuting in a bunch of raccoons and skunks. If you live in Texas , the government will probably air-drop in a container-load of bears and dum dum ammunition, possibly in separate containers. If you're in a built-up suburban area bereft of wildlife, the government will team up with fast food franchises to provide you with 'treasure' maps with clues to help you 'hunt' garbage bins stuffed with chicken nuggets and bacon rinds.

An end to government hand outs means an end to dependency and a revitalization of the core American spirit and ideals.  

Sunday, 7 March 2010


With a Marxist half-breed running the show in the White House and the country predictably gone to hell in a hand basket, it's no wonder that good southern folk have temporarily taken their eye off the conspiracy of fudge-packers and sausage jockeys who are still intent on raping our young men's pristine asses, rendering them permanently unfit to handle any kind of weapon apart from the pork sword.

The good news is that sterling, albeit fucking under-appreciated work, is being done every day by committed Christian scientists and volunteers to reverse the tide of effeminacy and crypto-faggotry overwhelming my beloved country. Now, this brave, pioneering work doesn't come cheap and Clayton knows that many Christians have misguidedly given away fistfuls of their hard-earned dollars to scrounging Haitian savages who're just going to blow it all on crack, but, if you care one iota for the sexual wellbeing of God's innocent children,  i ask you to please donate whatever you can to Clayton's Rehabilitation Center for Homosexual Gerbils, the first step towards finding a cure for this insidious abomination.

 Before Treatment : GGG : Gerbil Gone Gay. Seemingly irreversible gayness.

After Treatment : 90mph in the straight lane

Clayton's Confederate Cutie of the Month