Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Bullet Stamps

Under the despotic tyranny of the socialist dictatorship laughably referred to as the 'Democrat administration', trillions of dollars which could be spent developing new super-weapons for the self-defense of this great country are being pissed away on frivolous programs such as ‘social security’ and worthless work-creation schemes. Here's just some of the great projects that are being junked or fed feet-first into the wood-chipper by those traitors on Capitol Hill :

1) A one-sixteenth scale Death Star that can hover over a city for 6 full minutes, scaring the inhabitants shitless and which can also drop a 1985 Electra Park Avenue Buick onto terrorists from a height of 200 metres ;

2) A gun that can accurately fire a tiny boot into an enemy combatant's nutsack from 20 metres away ;

3) Special polystyrene inserts that make every soldier look as if he's sporting a 10 " dick and a permanent hard-on for killing  ;

4) A tiny robotic ant that can sneak into the most impenetrable terrorist hideout and deposit a 2 milligram payload of itching powder onto an enemy combatant's beard ;

5) Voice distorters that make every soldier sound as if he's a Dalek from the British TV series Doctor Who.

Death Stars, pocket nukes, cyborg soldiers that shit all sounds like science fiction, but the fact is, is that these wonderful innovations are just decades away from completion. Instead, we're told that priority must go to wasteful garbage like the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program.

Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program +  $$$ = FAILURE

As of late November 2009, one in eight Americans (37m)  and one in four children are using food stamps and the program rate is growing at a rate of 20,000 people a day. That works out at 7.3 million a year which means that by 2046 the number of people receiving food stamps will actually reach 307 million people - more than the actual number of people in the United States !!!

Insanity !!!

Who's going to pay for all these food stamps if every single person in the U.S., including the President and a few million more, are all on emergency food aid ?

Unsustainable !!!

Clayton's own, personal view is that people don't need food stamps any more. We have roughly 238 - 276 million guns in the U.S. and if you subtract the number of children (75 million) from the general population (300 million - 75 million = 225 million adults) then you have at least one gun for every adult, which means that every person should be able to go out and shoot their own dinner. Instead of food stamps, families will get bullet stamps.


If there's no good hunting in your area, then the government may consider parachuting in a bunch of raccoons and skunks. If you live in Texas , the government will probably air-drop in a container-load of bears and dum dum ammunition, possibly in separate containers. If you're in a built-up suburban area bereft of wildlife, the government will team up with fast food franchises to provide you with 'treasure' maps with clues to help you 'hunt' garbage bins stuffed with chicken nuggets and bacon rinds.

An end to government hand outs means an end to dependency and a revitalization of the core American spirit and ideals.  


  1. That's such a dumb idea, Clayton. Everyone knows there's not hardly enough meat on a skunk to feed the average Texas family of 27. You be wantin a possum for that.

    You know how you cook possum? First you douse it in Jack and singe all the hair off with a blowtorch. Then you put it in a pot of kerosene with an old boot added for flavor. You want to boil it down hard for about three days. Let it cool. Skim the layer of fat off and save that for your lamps. Save the kerosene for washing yer hair and cleaning out your lady parts. Throw out the possum, and serve up the old boot with plenty of fried okra, tomato slices, white bread and butter, with maybe an herb-roasted chicken on the side. Now that's good eatin.

  2. Hot damn, girl, it sure sounds as if you're going to be my go-to girl when The Rapture comes if i don't want to end up scrawny as an Englishman trying to survive on tiny morsels of rubbery skunk roadkill.
    And I sure as hell didn't know kerosene could be used in that way, although it occurs to Clayton that mermaids don't actually have 'lady parts'. Clayton was always under the impression that, unfortunately, there was only one way to eat a mermaid.